Blogging obviously is more different for me, it is much less personal than a journal, and I've tried to make sure that my posts aren't reeking with self importance and complaining but in my minor epiphany, I realize that I post more often during breaks when I'm with my family(which is awful I know, but my family is far better when we aren't together for extended periods of time, which I'm sure many can relate) when its are finals or other particularly stressful periods are happening at school, and in particular I realize that the first year I blogged, also my first year of college 09-10, the loss of my grandmother(who was very much my third parent) was still very raw and i was still hurting as well as I dealing with depression I had had for a few years, while assimilating to college life and learning more about myself outside of the environment I have always known. In addition, I could not play the sport that was a defining part of me due to re-injury to a prior knee problem and I also struggled with school a great deal until I was finally, at long last, diganosed with ADHD and anxiety. I look back on that year very fondly, because all in all it was a good year that truly changed me and matured me, but I do realize how much pain I bottled up.So all this being said I can now get to my point. I want to blog more, I think it is a good way to express oneself and I am going to make an effort to do it more. But this being said, I am changing my approach to it, underlying sadness is hopefully not going to nudge its way into my posts and when it does, I will be more upfront about it. I want this blog to be a medium through which I discover and attempt to articulate my thoughts and opinions, not one to hide my feelings behind.
For those who still read this blog, thank you for sticking with me, I am determined to recapture or finally capture myself with the help of this blog.
cheers, Jenny
